Christian anniversary as family or friends

01 The role itself

Marking a couple's wedding anniversary as family or close friends is mostly a private gesture rather than a church-organized event. The role is principally one of presence: a card on the day, a gift, attendance at any service the couple has chosen, and (on significant anniversaries) participation in any gathering the couple or their children have organized.

02 Where there is a church rite

Where the couple is marking the anniversary with a church rite (a Catholic Wedding Anniversary Mass at the parish or diocese, an Anglican vow renewal, an Orthodox blessing), family and close friends are normally invited. Attendance at the service is the principal way the family honors the day; a meal or reception afterward is typical.

The couple is the source for the schedule. For milestone anniversaries celebrated at a diocesan Wedding Anniversary Mass, the family typically receives advance notice and travel arrangements may be involved.

03 Gifts

The year-themed gift tradition (paper for the first anniversary, wood for the fifth, silver for the twenty-fifth, gold for the fiftieth, and so on) is broadly observed across Christian cultures. The tradition is mostly secular in origin but has been adopted into Christian family practice without difficulty.

For milestone anniversaries, religious or commemorative gifts are common from close family: a piece of religious art, a personalized cross, a framed icon, a commissioned photograph of the couple, or a contribution to a meal or trip the couple is taking. The choice is the family's; the couple may have specific preferences.

04 Difficult anniversaries

Where one spouse has died, the anniversary often becomes a moment of remembrance for the surviving spouse and the family. A brief acknowledgment is normally welcome; the surviving spouse may or may not wish to mark the day formally. In Catholic and Orthodox practice, attending Mass or Divine Liturgy with the surviving spouse on the anniversary date and offering the Mass for the deceased is a meaningful family gesture.

Where the couple is going through a difficult period in the marriage, the family normally takes its cue from the couple themselves; a private card with a warm message is appropriate where a larger observance would not be.

05 Common questions