Orthodox parenting as the parents

01 The home as the little church

Orthodox tradition speaks of the home as the "little church," in close parallel to the Catholic "domestic church." The phrase carries practical meaning: the family's daily life at home is in continuity with the parish's liturgical life, not separate from it. The home iconostasis, the prayer rule, the family meal blessings, and the observance of the fasts and feasts together bring the rhythm of the Divine Liturgy into the family's ordinary days.

The Orthodox parent's vocation is, in pastoral teaching, to maintain this continuity: to keep the home as a place where the rhythms of the Church's life are visible to the children, so that the parish liturgy is not the only place where the children encounter the faith.

02 The home iconostasis and the prayer rule

The home iconostasis is a small dedicated space, normally in a corner of a principal room, where icons of Christ, the Theotokos, the family's patron saints, and the children's patron saints are kept. Most Orthodox families maintain at least a simple iconostasis (a shelf with several icons; a vigil lamp; perhaps a small censer); some families maintain a more developed one (a full icon corner with multiple icons, candles, and devotional items).

The prayer rule (the morning and evening prayers, the prayer before meals, the prayer before sleep) is observed in most Orthodox families. The form varies by jurisdiction: Russian and OCA families typically follow a prayer rule from the standard Orthodox prayer book; Greek and Antiochian families have parallel patterns. The parish priest can advise on the local custom and on what is suitable for the family's children at their current ages.

03 The fasting periods and the major feasts

Orthodox practice observes four major fasting periods through the year. The Great Fast (Lent) runs for seven weeks before Pascha (Orthodox Easter) and is the most demanding. The Nativity Fast runs for the 40 days before Orthodox Christmas (December 25 in most US jurisdictions; January 7 in jurisdictions following the Julian calendar). The Apostles' Fast follows Pentecost. The Dormition Fast runs August 1 to 14.

The fasting expectation for children varies. Most Orthodox parishes ask young children for a lighter observance (limited meat or dairy, age-appropriate participation in the family's observance); older children gradually take on fuller fasting. The parish priest is the source for what the family's children should be asked to take on at their ages.

The major feasts (Pascha as the year's center; Christmas / the Nativity of the Lord; Theophany; the Annunciation; the Dormition; the Transfiguration; the feast days of the family's patron saints) are observed visibly at home as well as at the parish. Pascha in particular is the year's principal family celebration; the all-night Paschal Vigil and the breaking of the Great Fast at the post-Vigil meal are normally the year's most-anticipated family moments.

04 The sacramental life from infancy

Orthodox practice differs from Western Christian practice in giving baptism, chrismation, and Communion together at the Orthodox baptism, typically celebrated at or near 40 days after birth. From this point forward, the child receives Communion at each Divine Liturgy where the family attends and the child is present. There is no Orthodox parallel to Catholic First Communion or Confirmation as discrete preparation events.

The child's preparation for Communion at each Divine Liturgy is light: the family fasts together from the night before (most jurisdictions), the child receives Communion alongside the parents, and the child's ongoing formation in what Communion is happens through the family's and the parish's continuing conversation rather than through a single preparation event. As the child matures, the conversation about what is being received deepens; the practice itself does not change in form.

05 The name day

The Orthodox child's name day, set at the Naming on the Eighth Day rite, becomes a continuing feature of the family's year. In strict Orthodox practice the name day is the principal annual feast of the person; in US Orthodox practice both the name day and the birthday are commonly observed.

The observance typically involves attendance at the Divine Liturgy on the feast day where possible, with the person receiving Communion, and a family meal at home bringing extended family and parish friends together. The icon of the patron saint receives candles or a small vigil light on the day; the family may bring gifts marking the saint (a book about the saint, a small icon for the child's room, religious items appropriate to the age). The parish priest can advise on the principal feast day where a saint has more than one.

06 The long arc and the parish relationship

Orthodox parishes tend to maintain long pastoral relationships with families. The same priest often celebrates the family's baptism, the children's confessions and Communions through the years, the children's weddings, and the family's funerals. The pastoral conversation that the Orthodox parent has with the parish priest typically extends across decades, with the relationship deepening as the family's life unfolds.

The harder questions of section 05 of the /parenting/ landing page (teen doubt, sexuality conversation, single-parent or interfaith circumstances, blended families) are taken up in this continuing pastoral relationship. The Orthodox parent typically has the priest who has known the family for many years as the principal conversational partner; the spiritual father (where the parent has one) is the other principal partner.

07 Common questions

08 Pastoral note