Orthodox wedding as a non-Christian guest

01 What kind of service this is

An Orthodox wedding is the Sacrament of Crowning. The rite is distinct from Western Christian wedding ceremonies, and includes elements a guest from a non-Orthodox background will find unfamiliar: the wedding crowns placed on the heads of the couple by the priest, the procession around the analogion at the front of the church, the sharing of a common cup of wine, and the absence of spoken vows in the Western sense.

The Orthodox understanding is that the marriage is conferred by God through the Church on the freely consenting couple, with the priest as the celebrant and the koumbaros or koumbara as the principal sponsor. The couple themselves do not exchange spoken promises; their consent is presumed by their freely standing for the Crowning.

02 Attire

Orthodox weddings tend toward formal: a suit and tie for men, a formal dress for women. Many Orthodox parishes ask guests to cover shoulders and to dress modestly; some Russian Orthodox parishes maintain a tradition of head coverings for women. The family or the parish office can confirm any specific expectations.

The expected formality is roughly equivalent to a Catholic or Anglican wedding; the modesty expectations may be more specific in some parishes.

03 At the ceremony

Guests typically arrive 20 to 30 minutes before the start time. The rite is often preceded by a Betrothal service in which the priest blesses and exchanges the wedding rings; the Sacrament of Crowning proper then follows.

During the rite, the priest performs prayers and blessings; the couple stands with the koumbaros or koumbara behind or beside them. The crowns are placed on the couple's heads. The Gospel reading (typically the wedding at Cana from John 2) is read. The couple shares a common cup of wine. The priest leads a procession with the couple following around the analogion at the front of the church.

Guests stand, sit, and follow along. There are no spoken responses for the congregation; guests are not asked to recite prayers. Where the parish uses a heritage language for parts of the rite, a printed English program is commonly provided.

04 Specific moments

Most US Orthodox weddings are celebrated as the Sacrament of Crowning alone, without the Divine Liturgy. In that case Communion is not offered at the wedding. Where the wedding is combined with the Divine Liturgy (uncommon in US practice but possible in some parishes), Communion is reserved for Orthodox Christians in good standing; non-Orthodox guests are not invited to receive. There is no come-forward-for-a-blessing alternative in Orthodox practice; guests simply remain in their seats.

Many US Orthodox parishes have icon stands at the entrance and along the walls. The customary Orthodox practice is to venerate (bow toward, sometimes kiss) the principal icons on entering. Non-Orthodox guests are welcome to skip this without explanation; the practice is for Orthodox Christians.

The common cup shared by the couple during the rite is part of the marriage ceremony itself, not Communion in the Eucharistic sense.

05 Gifts and the reception

The reception that follows the wedding is shaped by the cultural tradition of the family. Greek, Russian, Antiochian, Serbian, Romanian, and other ethnic-Orthodox communities each have distinctive reception customs; many include circle dances, family blessings, traditional bread or sweets. Guests are usually invited into the dances and other reception customs; the family is the source for what is expected.

Gifts are by widespread US convention. The couple's registry, a monetary gift, or a charitable contribution in the couple's name is the typical pattern.

06 Common questions